Wednesday, December 23, 2009
Monday, December 14, 2009
I found this on a friends blog and had to share, I thought it was funny...
The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will be the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was the other possibility...
as part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5- year phase-in plan that would become known as " ".
In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make the sivil servants jump with joy. The hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k".. This should klear up konfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter.
There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the troublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like fotograf 20% shorter. ...
In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible
Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always ben a deterent to akurate speling.
Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is disgrasful and it should go away.
By the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with "z" and "w" with "v".
During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou" and after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensi bl riten styl.
Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu understand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.
Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze forst plas.
Saturday, December 12, 2009
50 above zero:Californians shiver uncontrollably. People in Boise sunbathe.
40 above zero:Italian & English tic;" cars won’t start. People in Idaho drive with the windows down.
32 above zero: Distilled water freezes. The water in Pocatello gets thicker.
15 above zero: New York landlords finally turn up the heat. People in Idaho have the last cookout before it gets cold.
Zero:People in Miami all die. Idahoans close the windows.
10 below zero: Californians fly away to Mexico. People in Idaho get out their winter coats.
25 below zero: Hollywood disintegrates. The Girl Scouts in Idaho Falls are selling cookies door to door.
40 below zero: Washington DC runs out of hot air. People in Idaho let the dogs sleep indoors.
100 below zero: Santa Claus abandons the North Pole. Idahoans get upset because they can’t start the Mini-Van.
460 below zero: ALL atomic motion stops (absolute zero on the Kelvin scale.) People in Idaho start saying…”Cold ’nuff fer ya?”
500 below zero: Hell freezes over. Idaho School Districst will open 2 hours late.
Tuesday, December 1, 2009
The Bar Code Tattoo - 252
The Bar Code Rebellion - 272
I thought these stories were fun, but they seemed to get a bit out there in parts.
Generation Dead - 400
This was a lot of fun! The story is of teenagers in America that when they die, they come back as zombies. They then attend high school and go about their "lives."
The Thief of Always - 288
This has been a favorite book since I was a kid. I remember reading it at a friends house one day and loving it. it took me a while as an adult to actually get a copy of it for myself, but since getting it I have read it though many times.
Total for November: 1212
Total for 2009 thus far: 30068